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Have you ever thought or said this about a friend or relative who is “taking too long,” to grieve a loss: “It’s been a long time and she’s still grieving. Shouldn’t she be over it by now?”
Anyone who has experienced a traumatic loss will tell you that there is no set time for getting over grief.
Truth be told, you never get over it. You learn to live with it, to adjust, to function, and hopefully even to enjoy life again.
But you never get over it.
Grief changes you. It makes you into a different person than you were before your loss. That’s neither good nor bad; it just is. The grieving person must adapt to a new life he did not want or anticipate.
Sometimes it takes years to adapt.
And that’s okay.
People grieve at their own pace.
So, if you have a friend or relative who is still grieving after a long time, give them a break–even if you feel it’s been “too long.”
Pray for them; encourage them; love them.
But don’t ask, “Shouldn’t you be over this by now?”