Is It Possible to Stop Grieving Too Soon?

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Image Credit: Jim Jackson | License: CC-O | Used by  permission

Image Credit: Jim Jackson | License: CC-O | Used by permission

Most of us have encountered people who we thought were stuck in grief, who needed to “get over it.” [Read my thoughts on that HERE.] But what about people we think haven’t grieved enough?

Do you know someone who went through a tragic loss, but who seemed to handle it too well?

There have been times in my life and ministry when I have encountered people who worried me because they didn’t fit my expectation of what grief should look like. I concluded that they were either in denial, or suppressing their emotions, and I was worried for them.

Although it is possible for people to suppress grief, and this can cause real problems, here are a few thoughts to keep in mind before you come to that conclusion.

If a friend or family member seems “too happy” after a loss, remember:

  • If you are not seeing that person 24 hours a day, you don’t have the whole picture.
  • Some people prefer to keep their grief private.
  • Some people do not like to make others uncomfortable, and so they hide their feelings when they are with you.
  • Everybody responds differently to loss. Just because a person isn’t grieving the way you think they should, doesn’t mean they are not dealing with their loss.

When I see someone who is not grieving the way I think they should, I remind myself that I have not walked the road they’re walking, and it’s not my place to judge. My place is to love, support, and encourage.

Often the best way to do that is to go beside them and hold their hand as they walk the road of sorrow.

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About James Pence
Author, speaker, singer, performance chalk artist -- Drawing the stories of your heart. Follow me @jameshpence and check out my blog: Creative Chaos.

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